Are you there, Sugar? It’s me, Nik: Whole 30, Days 1-3

If you are looking for a post that will tell you that days 1-3 are awesome and life is rainbows and butterflies…you are in the wrong place. This is going to be my raw and honest feelings, with a heavy pinch of sarcasm.

Ok now that we got that out of the way…

For everyone’s safety, I ate a snack before writing this post. Most of the way through with Day 3, just need to sit through a three-hour class tonight, eat dinner, and pass out.

As you can see by the brutally honest picture above, I am finishing the “hangover phase” of this absolutely delightful (read with extreme sarcasm) program. First of all, I need to give a HUGE shout out to all of the people out there who have done this, while transitioning from a COMPLETELY unhealthy diet. I mentioned yesterday, or maybe it was today, that I ate relatively clean before jumping into the Whole 30. Of course, I had random indulgences, but overall, the food I was eating was healthy and clean. Fast forward to today…I AM DYING.

WARNING: To anyone who is going to do any long cleanse, whether it be this, the Ultimate Reset, or some crazy diet where you just drink juice. DO NOT BINGE BEFORE. I repeat, continue business at usual. The more you binge in anticipation, the more you will regret it during the first week.

Exhibit A: I went to metaphorical yummy town the two days before I started the Whole 30. If it loosely resembled a carb, dairy, or sugar, I ate it. My final dinner was fettuccine alfredo…with garlic bread…and perhaps a cookie…or 6. I let myself eat everything I usually avoid with the thought, “Live it up, your life is going to suck for the next 30 days”.

Exhibit B: I now suffer from headaches, stomach ache, overall crankiness, and a general lack of motivation. Did I mention the emotional roller coaster? So, from my reading, it seems like some of these symptoms are totally common. The fact that I ate like it was my last day on Earth simply amplified the symptoms.

So here is a quick recap of the first three days:

Day One (Eternal Optimism):

Breakfast- Breakfast bowls . Make these. Whole 30 or not, make these, you will thank me later

Lunch: Chicken and green bean stir fry over cauliflower rice.

Dinner: Slow cooker pork, potato and tomatillo stew. The recipe needs tweaking, but I will share it as soon as I can

Overall, day one was awesome. I felt great, the food was great, everything was awesome (cue song from the Lego Movie).

Day Two (What the Heck Happened):

Breakfast: Bacon, brussel sprout, sweet potato breakfast casserole.

Lunch: Leftovers

Snack: Apples with Coconut Butter (go buy this, hurry, go now)

Dinner: Homemade italian sausage and sweet potato hash with a fried egg. Spinach salad on the side

Lets just say day two was not my favorite. I had a massive headache when I woke up. Drank some coffee. Felt amazing. Two hours later…tired and cranky. This cycle continued until pretty much bed time. I also did not sleep well, could have been anxiety about the program, or just my body missing Nutella, who knows.

Day Three (What Do I Feel Hungover):

Breakfast: Same as day two

Lunch: Leftovers

Dinner: Potroast and salad

Ask some of my closest friends, four of them in particular (hey, C, K, C, and NL), I have not been a ray of sunshine today. I even jokingly told my best friend, “I will donate my body to science if I get to eat a loaf of bread first”. Dramatic, I know.  Seriously, I have cried about nothing, gotten angry at things like the wind, and wanted to give up at least a million times. I will say that after lunch I felt…human? I think I am being such a baby because I feel hungover, and the catch is, I don’t drink. I stopped drinking because of hangovers…that type of logic would make anyone cranky.

Let’s end this on a positive note, shall we? Let the record show, I am not in the slightest bit hungry. I also get to eat bacon and nut butters…oh, and meat (nom nom meat). So this isn’t all bad. I promise. Damn you, “Sugar Dragon”.

Thanks for joining me on the first three days of this emotional, dairy free, rollercoaster. I will post another update after Day 6. Here’s to hoping I am much less cranky. <3